JESSICA'S WORLD

2012!!!

2012-01-04T16:09:00.000-06:00

It's been a while!!! Life is such a rollercoaster! Jason and I remarried on November 12th of last year, we moved to Trumann where I work, just a few miles from my mom and dad and family. And we can go to church more easily! And then Thanksgiving and Christmas were spent with family this year!!!

I love you all and i'm so sorry I am not on here more! Will try to keep at least the updates coming :)

Jess

Change

2011-08-31T20:34:00.000-05:00

Man, it has been so very long, that I'm not even sure where to begin. The last post I did was in March and I didn't even have a job and I was single, still living a block from my parents. I surely can't begin a post without a wonderful picture of Emmy :-)

I started working at Trumann Animal Clinic a week after that post. I had worked there through high school and two of my aunts work there and have for years and years. After being there only a few weeks, I found where God had been pulling me to. I now know that being in the Veterinary world is my career, I have been scoping out colleges to attend online to become a licensed Veterinary Assistant. Right now I am a trained technician, and have tons of on the job training and knowledge, but I want the initials behind my name.

Also in my last post, I was single. I battled with God for a long time, wondering why, wondering what I needed to do and where He was leading me. I finally just let go. I was to a point where I had finally decided that I wanted what God wanted, and ONLY what He wanted for my life. That He had mine and Emmy's best interest at heart, and if I could trust God with my eternity, then why couldn't I trust him with my love life and future?? On May 14th, I went out with friends and had a complete blast. Ran into Jason there where he cried his heart out to me, and I didn't believe him. In fact I wiped his tears away and turned him down. I went back with my friends and tried to put the scene behind me, but something kept telling me to listen to him.

So later in the evening when he found me again, I listened. He told me that God had changed him, and that he understood if I didn't want anything to do with him, but that he was sorry and wanted to be in Emmy's life and for things to be different. I decided to see what change he was talking about, I was leery and scared and very un-trusting, but the next day I went with him to visit Emmy.

Just the scene alone of seeing him with Emmy would melt anyone's heart. He ran for her, she ran for him and they both cried and cried. He apologized to me, apologized to Emmy, even apologized to his family and also to mine. He begged to attend church with me, and begged to be in our lives. I always said that God would show me that He had changed him. And He did. Jason would have to be a complete different person for me to want him in my life, and he was; in all aspects.

I can not begin to tell you the joy that God has brought to my life. Knowing he answered my prayers for Jason and my prayers for my life. For once in my life, I knew I was doing what He wanted me to do.

Needless to say, I relocated to Newport, AR where Jason was managing a store of his own. I drove back and forth an hour away to my job daily and brought Emmy to see my family. On Sundays we would make the drive to church and for a day with family. The happiest I have ever been in life has been in the last 3 months. I have been so very blessed.

We had a small bump in our way...we both missed home and felt like God was leading us away from Newport and back to home. Jason had lunch on August 9th with a competitor seeking a position closer to home. He turned it down because he didn't feel God's leading and we were going to patiently wait on God's door to open. However, on August 10, Jason was fired. His manager came in and asked him to resign before being fired. Jason said no, he could fire him that he had done nothing wrong. So they did. In Arkansas you can be fired for anything. And it stinks! So we have been looking for a place to live back home and also a job for Jason. He has put in many many applications and called and called.

So while that storm has been raging, many of you that have me on Facebook know what happened on Monday August, 29th. I had just left for work and was traveling on a straight highway at 70 or 75 mph. Yes that's speeding, supposed to be 55, but its a straight road, paved and not highly traveled. I take it twice a day going to and from work. Emmy and I were both buckled in, and enjoying KLove and admiring God's beauty. She was looking for crop-dusters and I was enjoying the sunrise.

A rabbit ran from the opposite lane towards me and I instinctively pulled to the right away from it. As I did my right front tire went off the road into the gravel. I immediately corrected it and when I did, the back tire caught the gravel and spun us. So I corrected again, causing way too much correction. My two right tires came off the road and we headed for the ditch.

I didn't hit my brakes because I knew we would flip on the pavement and I knew we wouldn't survive. So we hit a ditch at 75 miles per hour. Over 200 feet of pure horror. Emmy's screams will be forever etched in my mind and the feeling of being thrown back and forth and hanging upside down with no control. I know I blacked out for a few rolls. When I came to, we were landing, and we stopped upside down. My leg was hung near the windshield (keep in mind we were upside down...) and as I pushed off of the windshield, I noticed it was cracked and gave to my weight and there was water in the ditch. I unbuckled myself and crawled out of my window and then crawled into Emmy's window to get her loose from her seat. Her booster seat held by the adult seatbelt held and did it's job through 9 rolls. Yes I said 9. We were air born at least 2 or 3 times from the marks in the grass. Emmy's head was all that was hurt, she had 2 scrapes, and was well. She never went into shock and was so wonderful! A school bus saw what happened and the driver called 911 for us. 5 minutes later the fire department responded along with police and a state trooper and also a wrecker to tow my car.

I didn't make them put Emmy on a back restraint because she was walking, talking and could move everything with no other scrapes or anything. She answered their questions and watched as they put me on a back board and braced me down. She never once cried or whined or threw a fit or was scared of the men or the ambulance. The police woke Jason up and he met us at the hospital emergency room. After being xrayed and having scans of our heads, we were released. Only needed a neck brace and an arm sling and some pain meds, I'd say that we came out on the good end of the deal, and after you see the car, I think you will agree!

Have you ever felt like you had been prepared to die? This may sound like a crazy question for a 23 year old mom. But seriously... let me explain.

As I said, Jason and I have been amazing. I mean that with all my heart. I can't even tell you how wonderful our life is together and how wonderful being a family in God is. Praying and reading the bible, attending church and tithing, believing and trusting...just being ONE in God!!! So anyways, Sunday was spent in church and with our family, lunch and shopping, then church again. We had Communion Sunday night and on the drive home Jason and I had a long talk about our life, our future, our Christian walk, just about everything. Monday when I woke up, I got up and got ready, then got Emmy ready and we kissed Jason goodbye. It was a different kind of kiss, the kind that keeps you lingering and makes you late for work, the kind where you want to cherish the moment. When I put Emmy in her seat, I belted her up and pulled it tight as always and I kissed her and told her I loved her like I do to make her giggle as we leave. And then as we started our trip, I turned on Christian music and Emmy and I started our day. We talked about God's beauty with the sun coming up and how pretty the clouds were, and she was asking if there were airplanes out yet. A couple of my friends had text me telling me to have a great day and that they loved me. And I had just seen my parents the day before. Hugged them both...I was prayed up and ready. So I'd say this is an unusual experience. Where Emmy and I traveled with God over 200 feet and flipped 9 times and not only survived but walked away with only minor cuts, bruises, and scrapes. God was my pilot. My air bags never deployed. Just think, If I had been going any slower or any faster, I would have hit poles on either end. If they had flushed the rice fields, then the ditch would have been full of water and we might have drowned. If my car had crushed, If Emmy had slid out of her seat or either of our belts had ripped. If the windshield had given way and sprayed glass into me. If the windows hadn't of busted out and we had no way to get out. Too many what if's, but all I know is that God is real. He has been real. He has answered prayers, saved Jason, gave me my family back in ways I couldn't have dreamed of. He has give us a new life and been providing for us in time of need, and here we are trusting him even more to take care of us. If He can save us and keep us here for another purpose, then I can Praise HIM!!!!!

I will post again soon!
Jess

In this Moment

2011-03-18T11:48:00.000-05:00

Hello my fellow bloggers, I hope you are doing well today.

I find myself a tad overwhelmed today. I was released for work from the doctor, but the hospital only had nights available, so I had to turn in a notice, and now I am on the hunt for a job. It's been a week, and still no luck. It seems that everyone needs 2nd and 3rd shift workers, neither of which I can do. Also Spring Break is next week, so while the bills pile and the pressure rises, I am trying to keep my faith and remain optimistic.

On a positive note, it is absolutely beautiful outside. The last couple of days have been gorgeous and today I am wearing capris and a t-shirt and flip flops! I am looking forward to some outside play time with Emmy in the upcoming week.

I can't even begin to imagine what God's plan is for my life. I feel like I have been on a roller coaster ride that is never ending for the past couple of years. I have been climbing the mountains and trying not to wallow in the valleys, but I won't lie sometimes it's hard to keep my chin up. In the evenings when Emmy is asleep and I have so much time to myself, I just totally ignore all the thoughts that satan tries to crowd my mind with. I pray, or listen to music and lately I have been just trying to sleep alot.

I figure that He is working in my life and that I just need to do my part on job hunting and keep being the mommy I need to be, and the rest will follow.

Anyway I just needed to get my thoughts out of my head so thank you for listening today :)

Love you all,
Jess

I will Praise YOU in this storm...

2011-03-12T11:46:00.000-06:00

Hey guys, I know it has been a while since I have posted. And to Putz: I have been answering your questions through the email that is attached to your blogger ID, I apologize if you haven't been getting my responses, but I promise I have been replying.

First of all, my sickness was Aura Migraines (silent migraines). I take one pill nightly and I haven't had one symptom since, God is GOOD!

Lord knows I was one sick girl, and tired of being sick. Love that saying, "Sick and tired of being sick and tired!".

I have had alot going in the past few weeks, many of you have been keeping up on Facebook. I still haven't been working, I will be released on Tuesday when I go for my checkup I'm sure. My job was held at the hospital, but not my position, and all they have available are nights right now, but I won't be able to do that.

Jason did get a store of his own an hour away. He and I split up again, and so I am back to single mommy duty. I will have to be able to stay at home at night with Emmy and then work during the day. I have been searching all over for jobs, and will continue to do so. As for the breakup, well all I can say is that things just aren't right. We can only control ourselves, not others. I'm taking it day by day, and enjoying being healthy again.

I know what I want to do with my life and that's massage therapy, but I can't afford that or work while attending school so that goal is put off til the time is right.

As I said, many changes going on right now in my life. I am trying to be still and listen to what God wants for me. I know He has a plan, and that everything will work out.

Love you all, and if you haven't already, please contact me on Facebook, so we can keep up better!

Jess

Holy Cow! 2 posts in a week!!!

2011-01-27T18:26:00.000-06:00

Good news, bad news and strange news.

The above diagram is of the inner ear.

See those 3 semi-circular canals? One is for hearing, one is for balance, and one is a facial nerve. When you have a virus of your facial nerve its called Bell's Palsy. When you get the Herpes virus of all 3 its Shingles in your ear.

Well, I have/had a virus of my balance nerve. And it happened in my right ear. There are no ways to tell how it happened, why I got it, how long it will last or is lasting, no idea how you get it, no idea how to treat it or make it go away. They say it isn't contagious. It's called Acute Labyrinthitis or Vestibular Neuronitis or Neuritis. (If you'd like to look it up)

They have no idea if this is a virus, a viral infection or a infection. They don't know if it's contagious or how to treat it. All they can do right now is treat the symptoms it leaves behind.

So the idea is that this virus attacked me on December 17th and we think it lasted no longer than 4 or 5 days and then while I was trying to recuperate, I had a recurrence. Most people never see a recurrence. Some if they do, it's after they have completely healed.

I had a special test done today to test my eye movements and dizziness. The test showed that I do have severe nerve damage, but that it was in my right ear and only partially took out my ear. So normally if one ear was completely damaged then my other ear would make up for the loss. However, since mine is only partially damaged, it means that while my right ear is trying to heal, it's constantly interfering with my left ear. My left ear is trying to compensate, but it keeps getting mixed signals from the right. Which very well be why I had the recurrence.

So I am out of work for yet another 6 weeks at least, and I am keeping my appointment with the neurologist just in case I get worse or need further testing on my brain.

My hearing loss is from a decompressed skull fracture I had as an infant, and it will continually get worse as I age.

We also found out today from my test, that I have severe rapid eye movement and that my eyes are never at rest. So even while I am sleeping, I'm not resting. Which explains my eye problems, my sleeping alot and being tired. He also said that keeping my head still is causing my severe neck pain and headaches. So now I have to wear a neck collar at night at least to support the weight of my head. I told Jason I have a dog collar now. LOL

Now we go back to using all the previous meds as needed, and wait. We are hoping that I don't have any more recurrences and that I heal, and heal quickly. Unfortunately, people who have history of ear infections, high stress, car sickness and much more take longer to heal and are more likely for this to occur and re-occur.

The more recurrences I have, the longer it takes for me to heal. So thank you all for your continued prayers, thoughts and comments, your love and support! Love you all!

Jess

Where did 3 weeks go???

2011-01-25T22:39:00.000-06:00

Here I am barely in the groove of 2011 and here I am needing to be saying Happy Groundhog Day and Happy Valentine's Day!

So in case I miss those too:

There, now that i won't feel guilty for not coming on here more! LOL

How are you guys doing? I hope this post finds you well. It has been so so cold here in Arkansas, had a few spells of snow, a tiny bit of ice thank goodness, but plenty of chill to go around!

I'm hoping that Mr. Phil decides winter is over!!!!

Some of you don't follow my facebook and probably have been wondering about my sickness. I think the last time I came on here i hadn't seen the specialist yet, but I did go and he told me that i had labyrinthitis. I had, had a virus on a cerebral nerve and it was gone, but it would take me 6 to 12 weeks for recovery and also i had permanent hearing loss from it.

Sooooo I got started on my short term disability and filled out FMLA papers to secure my job.

However, last Wednesday I had a reoccurrence without warning. It was absolutely horrible!!!

I finally got in to see the specialist today and now he has thrown all his other ideas out the window. It isn't maneers disease because it doesn't come and go, it isn't labyrinthitis or if it was it caused permanent cerebral damage, and now i have tons of testing coming up to see if I'm having seizures, migraines or much worse that i really don't want to think about or even discuss.

I will be losing my job in a week or so (FMLA only covers it for a certain period, make sure you check into this at your own job), and my disability will continue for about 5 months.

Then who knows what. But, here I am waiting on testing and trying not to go insane. Jason hasn't received a store to manage yet and is still traveling in training. There are a few stores that are possibilities, but with all of them we would be moving at least an hour away. Sooo as I said before big changes ahead, and hopefully finding out what is wrong with me so i can get well and work again.

Ever heard the saying "Going on a wing and a prayer"? Well, I'm flying with one wing, and a prayer.

Love you guys and fill me in on your news if you have time!

Jess

A New Year Ahead

2010-12-30T20:31:00.000-06:00

We just finished with Christmas, and here it is time for 2011. SO much has happened in a year, and mostly I'm just ready for a new year. On Christmas I didn't take one picture of Emmy. Not one. Not even the night before, or even afterwards, and I still haven't. For one, I didn't really feel like messing with it, but I just didn't feel like I needed to for some reason.

As I said last week, I have been ill. At first I thought I had vertigo, but I am still having problems, so now I'm not really sure. All at once at work Friday December 19th, I became dizzy. I drove home with one eye open thinking I just had a migraine coming on. Got home took some headache meds and went to sleep. First thing Saturday morning when my feet hit the floor I started throwing up and didn't stop until Jason got me to the Emergency Room that night at 6pm. All day no matter if I turned my head or stood up, I got sick. I was crawling back and forth more sick than I have ever been in my entire life. In the hospital they gave me a bag of fluids because I was dehydrated, a shot of zofran for nausea, and they did some positional therapy to help redistribute the crystals in my inner ears for vertigo. She also gave me meclizine for dizziness. (doses of both zofran and meclizine were double what is normally distributed). For the entire weekend I was in bed. Monday morning I followed up with an urgent care doctor (my doctor is out for the holidays) and he added Valium to help me rest and also a trans-dermal patch for motion sickness that goes behind your ear. He told me to double the meclizine (keep in mind the meclizine was already doubled...sigh). He said if I'm not better by Thursday come back, then he said well then it's Christmas. Here, take off a week from work and if you aren't any better on Monday come back in.

Christmas came and went and Monday morning I went back to the same place. He made me do so many different tests I thought I would have to stand on my head before it was over. He doesn't seem to think that I have vertigo or maneers now. He thinks its something worse. He mentioned all kinds of horrible things that I wont even discuss on here.

Next Tuesday I go for an MRI, and then I see an ENT doctor on Thursday. Since Monday my vision has been blurring and I have been weening off my meds like he asked me to.

I sleep at least 12 hours a night, every night then I get up and do a little around the house, lay back down, do some more, lay back down...get the drift? Today I put up Christmas decorations. This whole time Jason's brother has been staying with us and he has been such a blessing. He is 18 and is so helpful! I truly believe without him I would have been having to stay with someone else so that they could watch Emmy. She's been out of school on Christmas break. So I'm really thankful that Justin has been with us.

On another note, Jason got a promotion at his job!! He was an account manager at the store in the next town, now he is considered a Manager In Training to have his own store. So this means he goes all around to other stores training to have his own store to manage. This means he is on salary now. This also means that whenever a store opens or a manager quits or gets fired, that Jason goes to that store...wherever it may be. Tomorrow is Jason's last day at the store he has been at. Next week he will be an hour away every day.

So many changes, so many issues...I can't even think straight.

I'm not supposed to drive with this going on, but yet Emmy goes back to school on Monday and Jason will be gone way before she is due at school and home way way later than when she gets out. Plus, I work nights and how in the world can I work at night if Jason is gone for days at a time with this new position...I know God has a plan, I just wish HE would show me that plan so I could see clearly too. Guess that's all part of having faith.

So as I wish you all a Happy New Year, it seems that the new year will be bringing many changes to Jessica"s World.

I love you all, and even though I haven't been around to see you lately, I've been keeping up with alot of you on Facebook. And if I haven't "talked" to you lately I want you to know I love you, and I truly wish you a very Happy New Year, and may it bring many many blessings to you!

the past month and Merry HO HO HO

2010-12-22T15:54:00.000-06:00

Right before Thanksgiving my granny and I took Emmy to see Sponge bob

at the Children's Museum of Memphis.

We went through an airplane, fished, danced, sang our little hearts out, acted in costumes, got a flower balloon, went grocery shopping at the Kroger inside, played and jumped, saw Sponge bob of course and had our picture taken, and right before we left, we had her face painted.

We had a blast, and as soon as we left we went to McDonald's

and had a happy meal and an ice cream cone.

She slept all the way home.

Thanksgiving morning, Emmy was watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Me making Jason take a picture.

And here is the feast, I fed all the family and they each took plates home, then i took it all to work that night and fed 16 more people...so nothing was wasted!

I made it through Thanksgiving y'all, and made new wonderful memories to replace my old painful ones. Jason and I even went on a date that weekend to see "Unstoppable", my mom kept Emmy for us.

Christmas is fast approaching, my trees are up, presents underneath, and the Santa gifts are hid until Christmas morning. We are all meeting at my house and opening gifts, then I will be cooking brunch, something new this year.

We even put up lights outside this year!

We have already traveled an hour away to see a huge Christmas light display, and already had pictures made with Santa.

Emmy still loves school and she is missing it terribly now that she is out for break.
The school introduced me to Elf on a Shelf this year...there's a book that goes along with it,

but the gist is..

You buy an elf and put it up out of reach, the elf needs a name...for example Miss Holly.

Miss Holly watches Emmy and tells Santa whether she has been naughty or nice.

Miss Holly moves every day so that it looks like she really left and came back....

This is wonderful!!!

My granny and pappaw took Emmy to the winter wonderland in the next city to see Santa and the huge displays of decorations they have.

I was going to take her to see the singing Christmas tree in Memphis but I didn't get tickets in time.

Oh well, there's always next year!

As some of you know I have been ill for about a week now with Vertigo. I'm unable to walk very good, much less drive or work. Watching TV is painful as is looking at the computer for very long, so I have been working on this same post for 2 days.

I am just hoping it goes away before Christmas day!

I hope you all have a Very Merry Christmas, and remember what its really about.

Happy Birthday my Savior!

Thank you for coming into this world, setting the example and for dying for my sins.

And God thank you for sending your only begotten Son.

Merry CHRISTmas to all of you!

May you have more than you need

Love,

Jess

A new perspective

2010-11-09T22:54:00.000-06:00

I have been thinking about this post for a long time. Actually for a few months. And the holidays are on my mind more than ever. In one way I dread them, but in another way...I know I want them to come. You see last year was the worst holiday season of my life. Even worse than when my grandpa died 6 days before Christmas. He was suffering and needed to go be with Jesus, so it was an answered prayer and we rejoiced in his healing. But this is different for me. I am struggling with this, and you may or may not understand why, but I'm going to try to explain it.

A year ago on Thanksgiving was when Jason left, and it started a battle that lasted until March. That battle included more pain and heartbreak than I ever knew possible. In that time I learned more about myself, and drew closer than I have ever been to God. Christmas Eve was quite possibly the worst night of my life, and Christmas day, I was the strongest I have ever been, and hope to be. If you are new or want to revisit my posts on this matter, my archives are in the side bar and of course go to November 2009 to March of this year.

I know you are thinking well, Jessica, you and Jason are okay now though, so what's the matter? Well, even though things are great, I still know that pain. I can close my eyes and feel the hurt just as I did a year ago. I can explain every bit of my heartbreak and tell you things that would make a dead man cry. Of course I am happy now, and life is grand, but for some strange reason I dread the holidays. For me I think Thanksgiving will always be a reminder of what happened and what "could" happen. Christmas Eve will always be there in the back of my mind, and this year...all I want is to cook for my family and have a great holiday season.

I want the smile on my face to match the look in my eyes. My eyes weren't smiling last year, and my heart wasn't full. So in one way I know I will break down once or twice over the holidays, but I hope it's a reminder of where I came from, what I have been through, and what all I have learned and gained. In another way, I look forward to adding happy memories.

So for this Thanksgiving season, I want to take the time to wish each and every one of you an amazing Thanksgiving. I am putting this up early because I hope all of my blog buds have a chance to read this before actual Turkey day. Folks, don't take what you have for granted. If it's small, leave it as that. Don't turn those small things into big things and let it ruin an afternoon, a day, or even a weekend or week, and God forbid a relationship. Life is precious and way way too short. If you can't find something to be thankful for, let me help you because this is all of what I am thankful for...

First and foremost I am thankful for God. Although I do not spend near enough time keeping up my relationship with Him, He still loves me and cares for me and has a place in Heaven waiting on me. Thank the Lord for mercy, grace, forgiveness, and unconditional love that never ever ends.

Next I am thankful for my family.

-I am so thankful for my wonderful man Jason whom I love with all of my heart. We have had a rough road, but we both have done lots of growing up and changing and I know that this is what God wants for us. I have never loved anyone as much as I love him, and I could never ever express my love and thankfulness for him. -Emmy is by far the best thing that has ever ever happened to me besides salvation. She is the light of my life and kept me going when I didn't think I could go on. She makes me smile daily and she is my miracle child who brightens the lives of everyone she knows. I can not imagine life without her, and I love her more than the air I breathe. How can you express thankfulness for such an amazing child?!

-For my parents, who raised me right and taught me about a God who provides, who gives and who will save me from a burning hell. They tried their best to show me the right directions in life and they showed me more love than most people ever know. I am so blessed to still have them, married, and in my life.

-For my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and anyone else who is in my family that doesn't fit in these categories...I love them all and am so thankful that they are in my life. Our family is so close, not as close as we could be, but closer than most...we may fuss with passion, but we love with more.

I am thankful for my friends, for all of you who have been there for me when I needed you, all who have prayed for me, lifted me up with encouragement and laughter, who have sent me goodies, emails, letters, messages...friends are so special. I have so many wonderful friends and now I know why so many followed Jesus...he was a true friend.

I am very thankful for my health. A year ago I was pretty heavy and I was able to lose 40lbs that I have kept off although I lost more than that initially. sigh. A work in progress. I am thankful for strength and energy, for good eye-sight and hearing, taste, touch, for everything that I have.

I am thankful for food and water, heat and air, oxygen to breathe, appliances and all that make life more convenient and easier. I am thankful for a home, for pets and all animals, for vehicles and ways of communication and travel. I am thankful for my job, for money that pays bills, for life. For Internet and computers...the works. We are spoiled, blessed people...truly we are.

I am thankful for everything around me, everything in my home, around my home, I'm even thankful for everyone elses' homes and things...for all of God's creations and things, even the weather.

I am thankful for God's word and a wonderful church home that I need to be attending more. I am thankful for the salvation of all of God's children, especially my family and friends who are saved. I am thankful for a church where half my family attends together, and I look forward to a day where my entire family attends together.

Lastly, I am so thankful that God is a listening God, and that He heard my pleads and prayers a year ago, and that He saw my guilt, my pain, and that He fixed it. It didn't happen overnight, and He is still working in this situation...but God is Amazing.

Happy Thanksgiving, and please spread your thankfulness and tell people how thankful you are for them.

Find something to be thankful for, in fact...find everything to be thankful for!

I love you all, and I hope you and your family have all your needs met and enough to share!

Jess

Booooo! Better late than never!

2010-11-04T03:42:00.000-05:00

Hey guys, told you I would be back soon!

Can you believe it?

Two posts so close together...man,

I feel caught up! lol

Emmy went on her first field trip

and rode her first school bus last week.

Her class went to the petting zoo, had a hay ride,

had a picnic, then went to the park,

and even ended the day with a Halloween Party!

Parents got to tag along too, so we had a great day!

I'm usually not teary about Emmy's growing up,

but lately it has really gotten to me.

As I watched her climb into that bus,

I just realized that Emmy isn't a baby anymore...

and that this is the beginning of her school days.

I cried while I drove behind the bus...sigh.

I told you guys she was going to be a bumblebee for Halloween,

and here she is!

I just loved this pic of her and her daddy! Now you can really see where she gets the brown eyes from!

We had a blast trick or treating and got tons of candy!

Yesterday was my 23rd birthday and I just can't believe that the time flies by so quickly!

I was going to let you guys know that Jason and I are doing good still and life gets better with every day.

As you can imagine this has been a very very long and hard road, so there are many things you have said or did in the past in hurt and anger that you have to forgive and move past, plus you change with heartbreak and even block your heart from love...sometimes shutting out even God in the process. ONLY with God, are he and I even back together, much less doing good, and that we are. Thank you all for your prayers for both of us through everything!!!

I'm going to brag on him...as you know I work nights. Well I worked Monday night and he got up Tuesday(my birthday) and took Emmy to school then went shopping for groceries and my birthday card and gift. Then he came home and waited for me to wake up and then cooked for me!!!! All by himself...he picked out the eggs, bacon, biscuits and even got the orange juice right (I like pulp)...while he cooked for me, he sat me down at the kitchen table and had me read his card and showed me his gift for me which was an electric foot massager because my feet hurt me ALOT. How thoughtful!!! He was on his best behavior all day and cuddled all afternoon with me on the couch!

I am very blessed y'all, and sometimes when you think life is going wrong and that God isn't listening or working, just step back and ask God to give you a sign, because He will.

Love you all, and miss you!

And just for PUTZ, I love you so much and you are so wonderful!!!!!!

Jess

Busy month!

2010-10-24T17:18:00.000-05:00

As you can see, we have been having fun

in Jessica's World lately!

Lot's of living going on!

We went to the county fair and let Emmy ride the rides and go through the petting zoo.

I know, this might be crazy sounding, but this was the first time Emmy had ever had cotton candy...somehow we skipped this over the years...

On a Saturday, Emmy and I went to the Memphis Zoo with my Grandma, which is Emmy's Great-Grandma.

She made the entire trip in high heels and a skirt,

that's my granny.

She's 72 and kept up better than Jason does. LOL

This was quite possibly the best day I have ever had with my grandma, we ended the day with ice cream, and before we could get across town to the Mississippi River Bridge, Emmy was sound asleep.

The next picture is from yesterday and Emmy and I were just playing with face paint.

Meet "Cookie" our newest member of the family.

And yes that is Jason's hairy armpit...LOL, Cookie is about 8 weeks old and is a female teacup chihuahua.

This was taken at a Lady Antebellum concert, and this is my friend Emily.

Guys I know I haven't been on here at all, and I apologize. Not only has life been busy and full, but my schedule stinks! I work half the night or all night then sleep through the day til Emmy gets out of Preschool, then we do laundry or go visit Grandma Diane, run errands and I rush around to get ready for work and do it again. Weekends are spent spending time with family and sleeping in! I'm also on facebook here and there.

I hope you guys are doing great!

By the way Emmy is going to be a bumblebee for Halloween, plus my bday is right around the corner, so I will be back soon!

Love you,

Jess

Once a Month-er

2010-09-09T16:42:00.000-05:00

I guess I have become a once a month poster now.

At least I'm still posting, right?

Once again so much has been happening. Emmy started preschool and is loving it, and doing wonderful. We had a family reunion on my dad's side and family drove from Michigan and all over Arkansas. Plus my uncle flew in from Texas and stayed the weekend, we had a blast!

This is my dad and uncle Mark.

So much has been happening in my family...divorces, new unplanned pregnancies and well just life in general has been busy. No, I'm NOT the one pregnant!

At work one week I may work every night then the next week I am called off. Of course I get my hours in, and I also have much time to rest and spend time with my little family, so all is well.

I'm sorry that I haven't been posting and commenting and keeping up like a good blogger should. You know how it is tho.

I hope all of you are well and happy!

Be blessed!

Love, Jess

Here I am!!!

2010-08-15T00:16:00.000-05:00

Honey! I'm home!!!

Gosh, over a month! Where has the time gone? Life has been flying by. Between car trouble, then a trip to swim, mom getting sick, and now a job change..we have alot going.

But who doesn't, right? Anywho... I hope that things are going well for you. As I hinted, we had some issues with Jason's car, then tire issues on mine, and in the same day tire issues on Jason's car. When it rains it pours it seems. Then we took a trip to swim and my car acted up a bit. But we had an excellent day. Shortly after that, mom became ill and spent some time in the hospital (which most of you know from Facebook) and now she is trying to cope. I say cope because she isn't exactly well yet. They never figured out her problems and we still don't have test results back...but, we are waiting...patiently I might add.

I have been secretly hating my job for a long time. As you all know I dream and drool over doing massage therapy as soon as i get the money. I don't enjoy working at the hospital except for the lives I touch, and in turn the ones that touch me. I love people, but what i do is not a fun job. I usually work on the busiest days of the week and I cover all 3 meals of the day plus do bath and bed changes. I run my tail off. And I've burn out to be honest. It's horrible to be working so hard at something you don't even enjoy. So I prayed and prayed and a job opening came available across town on 3rd shift week nights. Before I looked into it much, I asked my supervisor if there were any openings, and she said no.I took the other job, but as I was leaving my job, my supervisor pulled me aside and asked how to keep me. I told her I wanted nights so that I could sleep while Emmy was in preschool (which she starts this Thursday!!!) and then I could have some weekends off because I missed church terribly. She told me to consider it done. So we ripped up my 2 week notice, exit survey, and evaluation upon leaving...and nights here I come!

Tonight was supposed to be my first night on nights, but they called me off on low census. I went from a very fast paced Med-Surg floor to an overflow unit in the Women's Center. Now the max patients I have is 10 and they are all non-infectious females, which is awesome!!! I'm also in the same department as all the babies! Notice my excitement? No meals, no baths, no bed changes, and more time with family, at home, and most importantly with church!

I told you that Emmy starts preschool this Thursday. Y'all this is the first day of school...and it never stops til she's grown. Sigh. It's hitting me, all at once, that my little infant is gone, and here is my toddler that is about to be a true kid. Jason and I are taking her together for her first day, then most days he will be getting her ready and taking her, then I will be picking her up. I love that we are a team. Love it!

And while I'm bragging, might I add that Jason and I are doing well. Very well. We have started some things to help us out too. I'm doing the Love Dare from that movie, Fireproof. And he is doing a similar thing for me.

We are so very happy to be together and we have come such a long way. I have watched him fall back in love with me and love is truly a beautiful thing. Once again, we know we are doing the right things because Satan is out full force attacking us each step of the way.

For all my facebook buddies, I haven't said much about my job on there because we have been getting in big BIG trouble for talking about it. Please don't think I have ignored you, but I can't post very much with it being a hospital. So many violations as you can imagine. I will still be working 12 hour shifts just at night.

This past week I have learned a very important thing. My whole life I have heard to follow your heart. I have even told people when they were having marriage trouble or relationship issues just that...but I know different now. You have to give your heart to God, then He will lead you. You have to guide your heart. Have you ever thought of that? Following your heart usually means chasing whatever feels right at the moment whether or not its actually right. The Bible says, "He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered" (Proverbs 28:26). Just as your heart can direct you toward hatred, lust, and violence, it can also be driven by love, truth, and kindness. As you walk with God, He will put dreams in your heart that He wants to fulfill in your life. He will also put skills and abilities in your heart that He wants to develop for His glory (Exodus 35:30-35). He will give you the desire to give (2 Corinthians 9:7) and to worship (Ephesians 5:19). As you put God first, He will step in and fulfill the good desires of your heart.

Isn't that awesome?!

Well I'm going to go for now, and I will try to visit soon. Thank you for all your continued prayers for me and Jason and for mom as well. We all have alot going right now and just as you pray for us, we pray for you!

Love you all,
Jess